The Wedding Night

Tradition says that the bride and groom leave the wedding reception and dance without anyone realizing they have gone, and that the guests continue the celebration, but this can vary. By now,they should have already organized someone to dismiss the musicians, give tips, see the last guests out and make sure all the little extra details that may crop up are dealt with.
Wedding night fireworks.
Wedding Night Fireworks.
Photo by Jorge Oliveira

As the wedding night arrives, as would be expected, both the bride and groom will probably be quite exhausted. The couple has fled from family, friends, the celebration and the gifts. Their  desire to be alone together and to live out the great encounter of their wedding night approaches.

The bed is the best refuge on the wedding night.  Tensions can be forgotten, and be replaced by the intimate and secret complicities. The lovers get ready to realize a rite that  desire will renew time and again, because they will have already exiled timidness and overcome inhibitions. On that night the newly married couple agrees to listen to each other and to themselves, to let go of inhibitions and to believe that they have  the right to enjoy it.

But this night of adventure will depend on the previous history of both the bride and groom. If it is the first time for either of them, the night can be dissapointing. At the first encounter together, one arrives with an arsenal of fantasies and expectations.

Our body inherits some desires and cravings from our genes. Our culture has provided us information so that we make our particular choice of how we want to be and to to feel.

The pleasure is in the fantasy. When we began to write the first chapter of our erotic history with our partner, the possibilities for pleasure depend to a great extent on the unconscious fantasies. One of most common in the man, for example, is to see the body of the virgin woman like an unexplored forest and to be able to imagine that dangers wait for him therein. Also he can be afraid of damaging her, or to feel that the act may reduce or humiliate her; the risk of this may even excite him, although he has still not accepted this himself.  The bride, by his side, can associate unconsciously men with brutality or thoughtlessness, and what could be pleasure for her could turn into pain because of the image she  has of men.

There is nothing like experience. If you have previous experience, there are more possibilites for the wedding night to remain in your memory as a pleasing experience, since together with your partner you are weaving an erotic history where the fantasies find agreement between the spouses.

This day seems a special moment in which sharing bodily pleasures and love go hand in hand, although it is said that there is a certain difference between men and women - one usually gives love to receive physical intimacy; whereas the other gives physical intimacy to receive love. Although the intersection of the two can be difficult, is possible and enjoyable because both genders need both ingredients to live.

Happy wedding night!

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