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The Wedding Night
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Tradition says that the
bride and groom leave the wedding reception and dance without anyone
realizing they have gone, and that the guests continue the celebration, but this can vary. By now,they should have already organized someone to dismiss the musicians, give tips, see the last guests out and make sure all the little extra details that may crop up are dealt with.
As
the wedding night arrives, as would be expected, both the
bride and
groom will probably be quite exhausted. The couple has fled
from family, friends, the celebration and the gifts.
Their desire
to be alone together and to live out the great encounter of their
wedding night approaches.
The bed is the best
refuge on the wedding night. Tensions can
be forgotten, and be replaced by the intimate and secret
complicities.
The lovers get ready to realize a rite that desire will renew
time
and again, because they will have already exiled timidness and
overcome
inhibitions. On that night the newly married couple agrees to
listen to
each other and to themselves, to let go of inhibitions and to
believe
that they have the right to enjoy it.
But this night
of adventure will depend on the previous history of both the
bride and groom. If it is
the first time for either of them, the night can be dissapointing. At
the
first encounter together, one arrives with an arsenal
of fantasies
and expectations.
Our body inherits some
desires and cravings from our genes. Our culture has provided
us information so
that we make our particular choice of how we want to be and to to feel.
The
pleasure is in the fantasy. When we began to write the
first chapter of our erotic history with our partner, the
possibilities for pleasure
depend to a great extent on the unconscious fantasies. One of most
common in the man, for example, is to see the body of the virgin woman
like an unexplored forest and to be able to imagine
that dangers
wait for him therein. Also he can be afraid of damaging her, or to feel
that the act may reduce or humiliate her; the risk of this may
even excite him,
although he has still not accepted this himself. The
bride,
by his side, can associate unconsciously men with
brutality
or thoughtlessness, and
what could be pleasure for her could turn into pain because of
the image she has of men.
There
is nothing
like experience. If you have previous experience, there are
more
possibilites for the wedding night to remain in your
memory
as a pleasing experience, since together with your
partner
you are
weaving an erotic history where the fantasies find agreement
between
the spouses.
This day seems
a special moment in which
sharing bodily pleasures and love go hand in hand,
although
it is said that there
is a certain difference between men and women - one usually
gives
love
to receive physical intimacy; whereas the other gives physical intimacy
to receive love. Although
the intersection of the two can be difficult, is
possible and enjoyable because both genders need both
ingredients to live.
Happy wedding night!
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